Letter from Charlotte Cushman to Emma Crow Cushman, June 29, 1861
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Description
Cushman's letters to Rosalie Sully and to Eliza Cook have been lost over the last six months.
Cushman might return sooner to New York, hoping to spend time with Emma then.
She assumes that Mary will want to stay with Emma and Ned during her time of sickness.
Credit
Library of Congress, Charlotte Cushman Papers, Manuscript Division, Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.Creator
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Text
[275] Yesterday morning my own dearest bird [?] I was up at 5 1/2 to get ready to start from Cortlandt street at 7. for Baltimore. so as I was writing to you very late on Thursday night (which, by the by, I mistook for Friday night & so, thought you would not be getting a letter from me until Monday.) I got only four hours sleep. The day was very very hot. & we had a dusty uncomfortable journey. Arrived at Phil. at 11. then across the city in omnibi [sic]. Then without any thing to eat as it was too late. started at 12 for Baltimore. arrived here nearly famished. boxes did not get up to us until post 5. Nor having packed +++ I +++ nor know where to look for any thing unpacked to the bottom [?] of said +++ & packed up again. dressed in a black dress such you +++ saw me wear & down to
[275 reverse] +++ my +++ dinner. Found the Enclosed letter from your father (of which +++ anow [?]) in the evening we sat out on the "+++" and +++ +++ [last two words inserted] pass [?] much [?]. after which a +++ +++ came in who played divine & I did not get to bed tired [?] & weary as I was until +++ 12 o'clock. slept like +++ up the morning at 7 1/2. & now nearly +++ by every member of the family all talking at once. I get to my sweet darling to +++ her this "diary" of my proceedings since the [?] state of my last letter. Sometimes I think that in my correspondence with my dear new daughter. I will avoid all love words or epithets save those which might +++ any eye. only putting a blank there. which she can fill up with any thing in the world most sweet and dear any thing which she pleases. & +++ +++ can +++ her auntys [sic] letters. which shall be a transcript of her outgoings & incomings & put them in a case by themselves. they [inserted] shall
[ 276] +++ +++ days [?]. make a journal of the aunty. from the time she, initially belonged [?] to that aunty. & show them to his daughters +++ +++ days [?]. as a record of affection. which they +++ +++ be made to care [?] for [?]. what do you say to this plan. my precious. will you +++ the love words. for the sake of +++ +++ your children love me and know me. when I am passed away I feel so very very sorry that I have not been able to keep the +++ of my letters since I left America, first. for England. my letters were +++ then, than now. though perhaps not worth so much in their lack of experience. But I have been unfortunate. my first six months letters. were destroyed. written to my friend Miss Sully. My next were written to friend Eliza Cook. the poetess. and they have been destroyed. since then. have +++ been separated from my friend & companion who +++ that +++
[276 reverse] be at the time. so my letters have not been [?] worth much. & have only treated of +++ +++ mediate +++ +++ +++ [last two words inserted] +++ +++ +++ +++ moment of my writing. You shall tell how you want me to write. if you dont [sic] like the place. I will do any thing you please. I shall be glad for my grand children to know how dearly I loved their mother. & this seems to me to be the best way of their knowing. your grandmother tells me dear that you thought of going to Worcester on Saturday. your letter, said. "Monday, if then" .so you may not get this letter for some days. It would have been well to order them now to be forwarded. perhaps you have taken that precaution. Only think of my not getting a good feed of Strawberries before I left Boston. because I thought it was extravagant. & now I am here when they are all passed & +++ & I shall just miss them every where. too bad. I hope you will get plenty at Worcester
[277] & have +++ pleasant visit: I hope and expect to get back to you on Saturday night next if I possibly can. but dont [sic] tell any body I am coming so soon. I found that I could do all my New York business when I go on to sail. Therefore the sooner I can get back to you, the happier I shall be. & by not telling any body. I shall not be set upon by friends. If Mary gets to Lenox by the 10" or 11". & you like it. I will take you up there & leave you when I go to New York. or I will do anything you like best. I am yours for that whole week. as I must get to NY the following Saturday 13" – Darling. if I feel that Marys [sic] fears [?] with regard to herself were true. I would let my father see Marys [sic] letter. & then if it is going to be a happiness to her to be with you. he will not +++ her. & I am entirely certain that she +++ to be with you & Ned. & in your new home would be very happy & not trouble you — as she used to do sometimes. In living so much
[277 reverse] & intimately [?] with you during the time [?]. you +++ away together - she has outgrown her home. & wants your +++ I would persuade. my father +++ +++ +++ come to me if I were gone. & in +++ of it. would let him see her letter & know how she feels herself [?]. at last this seems to be, in ignorance of what else the letter may contain as not +++ I +++ here that she has this Trouble & is incurable. let her live where she will be happiest. if it is not true. she will better cured in Boston than elsewhere dont [sic] you think so? and now my darling child. To the letter of your father. which +++ me great anxiety! +++ +++ +++ +++ but more [?] for my children. I find +++ a +++ & staring +++ for Economy. which I have as yet seen no +++ to hope for [?] in either of my children. +++ all their +++ to +++. Every thing they have [inserted] worked
[278] they talk economy. which they do not +++ the +++ +++ to +++. +++. I saw [?] +++ +++ matters [?]. +++ I can [?] make him +++. +++ I cannot +++. because she loves her over [?] +++ & +++ she knows as well as her aunty. Settle Things +++ the character of living altogether. & I +++ +++ & you to ours to you that +++ not think you dream of economy. or saving +++ any way. I have not told you before. that I have +++ my own in +++ to +++ You & Ned to be comfortable & happy. I do not +++ my way clear to do as your father +++ unless I put down my carriage & horses. will you have me do this. or will you refrain [?] from buying extravagant trimmings [?] & paying +++ Economy [?] sums [?] for making pillow cases. which are +++ in themselves nor with +++. if they did not show the lack of +++. Dont [sic] think I am +++ as +++ +++ kindly. but it is +++ to show my children. the North [?] & then, whatever comes I am not to +++. Mr Crows [?, sic] declarations to me +++ +++ to
[278 reverse] his indulgences [?] to himself. +++ me for ever more. how nescessary [sic] it is for me children to be careful. I shall not answer your fathers letter at +++ but wait until I see you. I am +++ to see very clearly that if this state of things continues very long. I shall have to come back to the states in two years time not to enjoy the society of my children - but to go to work again. as +++ as ever - & I am getting too old to +++ as I have done this year. However, sufficient for the day is the evil there of. I will speak to you of your fathers [sic] letter & then write to him. God ever bless. my darling. Emma Chase sends her kind love to you & will with pleasure pay you a visit in the autumn. +++ +++. & Grandma send [sic] best love. I am anxious to know how you are getting on. keep me informed - love me half as well as I love you. for I am your darling
Ladie
