Letter from Charlotte Cushman to Emma Crow Cushman, May 23, 1860

Cushman assures Emma Crow of her love for her. Cushman will travel from Paris to London soon and meet Crow in the accomodation arranged by Mr Fields, which Cushman, however, deems to be way too expensive. She touches upon the issue of protecting her respectability when meeting Emma.

Credit

Library of Congress, Charlotte Cushman Papers, Manuscript Division, Library of Congress, Washington, D.C. 

[151] Dearest.

I have just rec^d a letter from my friend who expected me as visitors & she was not looking for us until the 1^st week in June—Our arriving two days earlier finds her out of town for the Whit-suntide Holidays so we are free to be +++  to you. I have written Mr Fields about the apartment in your house. but I cannot give half as much as you are paying which strikes me as simply a ridiculous price & one which you ought not to pay. you would have paid less at the Hotel I recommended. & where I shall go unless Mr Fields can find me something in your house very very much cheaper. we shall be there on Tuesday night & if we are to come to your house. which you will learn from Mr F. I will get you to let us arrive & get to our rooms quietly get our dust of & then. I will come

[151 reverse] & hunt you up. most likely the Fields will be in waiting for us (I wish they would not) & it makes me so nervous after a hard days [sic] journey to be suddenly in the midst of noise & flurry & excitement so you quite understand me darling? not that I do not want you the moment we arrive—but—but—but—I am sure you will see what I mean & do as I wish. I had rather get my face washed. & come down to your room to hold you to my heart for five minutes almost alone. & let Ned get his sight of you first. Then you can go to your room & watch for me will you do this. You can—without compromising me with Mary— arrange this as though it was your own brilliant thought so as not to offend her. I have found the parcel in Miss Whitwells [sic] trunk—or rather Ned did. I hope every thing is contained in the one parcel. If not Miss W. must Telegraph me by return. I to was +++  "Money +++ for Mr Crow"—was this right

[152] I am so sorry to learn by the Fields that people are waiting for me. I wish they would let me alone. I have only one London week in England & want to be quiet with my pets. You can wait until I come & have a chance to tell you. before you are cool to Ned. it will be better that I should tell you in his presence. & then you can take what steps you choose. I bless you for your dear little letter which we rec^d yesterday morning I am sorry you did not get the Isle of Wight or else remain here. It seems to me to have been a mistake to go—without doing any thing. however. you know your own affairs but. God bless you my sweet sweet darling I love you. I think of you as you would have me. I remember only your dear affection for me. & not any momentary faults or infirmities. thus must you ever think of your fondly loving

Ladie