Letter from Charlotte Cushman to Rosalie Sully [?], Nov 21, [1845]

Letter from Charlotte Cushman to Rosalie Sully [?], Nov 21, [1845]

Sully, Rosalie, 1818-1847

Cushman, Charlotte Saunders, 1816-1876

Relationships-- Intimate--Same-sex

Cook, Eliza, 1818-1889

England

Frustration

Intimacy--As topic

Reputation

Sentimental

Charlotte Cushman is probably writing to Rosalie Sully here, since Charlotte is working in Great Britain and spending time with Eliza Cook. She repeatedly confesses her love to the addressee. They cannot show their intimacy publicly and Cushman can understand the addresse's "restraint" when writing letters since those letters might not remain unnoticed. She apologizes for being impatient and tries to encourage the addressee to write more often. Cushman is talking to Eliza Cook about her love interest.


Credit

Library of Congress, Charlotte Cushman Papers, Manuscript Division, Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.

Cushman, Charlotte Saunders, 1816-1876

LoC, CCP 7: 2299-2302

1845-11-21

Reference

[2999] The postcript [sic] of your dear note reached me on Wednesday, dearest & I should have immediately replied to it but that I had written only two days before. I awaited your reply to answer you. I felt most certain that you were not writing freely to me. hence, the sentence which you have quoted! Your "postcript" [sic] convinced me still more that I was right & your letter +++ today. Even more. I asked you a question in one of my notes – which you have not noticed but which would have let my mind much at ease. In our correspondence I asked you. if any one saw your letters (written or recd). but yourself. I know a great difference exists in families with regard to this – some parents see all letters addressed to their children

[2299 reverse] Some never[?] think of it. This alone might produce a restraint. which I could easily account for & excuse. but I should be glad to be satisfied upon the point. You say in your 'postscript[?]' that you fear you have failed to give me the idea of how +++ you value. the love & confidence I have bestowed upon you: no, no: my sweet[?] friend. You have not! I know too well. the comfort on an honest love & truth. not to be fully +++ that your mind & heart can appreciate them[?] consequently. I never questioned that sudden +++ of your affection for me – as I saw in it a reflection of my own. & even believed and thought you were nervous with me. & have been a little so in your writing / that you loved &

[2300] appreciated all that I had to give. You wish I could "read all your thoughts". what an awful power you would +++ me few could +++ it & you make me truly happy. in these unmistakable proof of your affection – you say you can make no return for my love. Alas, alas, that you should hold your own truth at so low a rate – I am repaid[?]. more than repaid[?]. & shall strive to make you think so: dont [sic] call your return unworthy. I am satisfied! & you have no right to complain: when you say you have no care for my position. your throw down the only difference between us. A human heart is – a human heart & one as worthy as another – when +++ desposed. these reflect upon the even ground we meet & bring yourself up in your own esteem. You make me smile. at my own impudence[?]. in breaking[?] down all barriers

[2300 reverse] of custom to know you & to come at your heart. but – it was to be & is. I find [in?] you all I hoped. I love you very very dearly: only think of me. Ever – as you do now. Only love me as I wish to be loved. (which your expression shows me. you now do) & I am happy: you say the influence I extend[?] over you is so kindly that the more you love me the more you find you have to give your +++ only love me better & better. & dont [sic] let your love for them, grow as fast & far as your affection for me. In how I play the +++ already. Juliet says "The more I give to thee. the more I have for both are infinite.”
so that your expression is easily +++ & not so badly expressed as you seem to think – if you only knew the delight +++ & true. that the sight of your

[2301] handwriting conveys to me. You would never[?] fear an intrusion  & I +++ think [inserted] you doubt my love. when you fear to intrude. write to me. often & often – whenever you find a moment to give me. Let me have the passing dew[?] drops of your thoughts. I shall only give you those moments which I am happy & easy in so employing so have no care for intruding upon me – & dont [sic] wrong me by such a thought +++ my love for you. I long for your letters & the sight of you! Which please God. I will have. on the 13th – How I +++ for the passing of the time. Your darling letter of Wednesday[?] I have received to day. I will endeavor to be good and kind to you. & not judge hastily of what you may not be enabled to continue. I was impatient & restless for a letter from you & may have been unkind and hasty – oh. forgive me. I implore you. Not for worlds would I [inserted] +++ you or give you an unhappy moment. +++ me as you

[2301 reverse] love me. I did no doubt your or your love. I only wished to show you how I had counted the days. that had passed since I had heard from your. acquit me of all intention to +++ you. & tell me in your reply that you have +++ the sentence which looked like a +++ . answer my question. in the first part of my letter & you relieve my +++. Your say you will wait +++ you see me. Before you tell me how much you have wished[?] for me. No no – tell me now. You will not do it. When you +++ by my side & I shall have to +++ with those dear windows of your heart. to find how much I am loved – for I fear. your silence upon that which will be dearest for me to hear. I thank & love you for all the expression of attachment conveyed in your letter

[2302] your assurances that my letters are looked for & treasured show me my own love in yours & I am grateful – your anxiety to see me, cannot equal mine. I love you & in that sentence is summed up all of hope & joy! I shall see you again – I shall hold you to my heart & find in yours a comfort which I thirst for the being loved! I am not quite sure what time I shall be able to arrive in Sheffield - but I will let you know before I come. I shall go to the same hotel where I was before. My sister will be with me. tomorrow three weeks – will find me at your side. Eliza Cook calls you my "music box" my "+++ Harp" – & likes you +++ to me very much. I long to show you to her for she will find much in you

[2302 reverse] to love. & you will admire her very greatly. I sent some lines of here to Sheffield – which I suppose will be in the '+++' next week[?] They are beautiful & full of poetry. read them & admire them. I am going down to +++ pass her birthday with her. Christmas[?]
when is your birthday, dearest? I am called away to the Theatre & must leave you. Write to me often love me as much as you can, think of me with half the affection. which I feel for you & I am content. God bless you. my darling. & trust me through all time I am
fondly,
Your Charlotte

[2303 missing]

Cushman, Charlotte Saunders, 1816-1876