Letter from Emma Stebbins to Sidney Lanier, March 1, 1876
Dublin Core
Title
Letter from Emma Stebbins to Sidney Lanier, March 1, 1876
Subject
Cushman, Charlotte Saunders, 1816-1876
Cushman, Edwin "Ned" Charles, 1838-1909
Death
Journalists/Writers
Stebbins, Emma, 1815-1882
Lanier, Sidney, 1842-1881
Relationships-- Intimate--Same-sex
Intimacy--As Source
Description
Stebbins writes to Lanier upon Charlotte Cushman's death to discuss the matter of Cushman's memoirs.
Transcripts by Jennie Lorenz
Credit
Creator
Stebbins, Emma, 1815-1882
Source
LoC, JLP 2
Date
1876-03-01
Type
Reference
Letter Item Type Metadata
Text
My dear Lanier,
It is very hard for me to write yet, though I struggle with all my strength to make some acknowledgments of the kindness and sympathy which meet me at every turn - so many hearts have been +++ by our great loss – so many souls yearn to her memory, and cling to all that remains of her. I must not indulge in a selfish inertia, or fall down into the dull flat of despondency, while there is duty to be done, such is not the glorious example she set us – and my life not if it is spared must be given to her will – even more than before – to hold to her spirit as I have ever done to her dear presence, and so keep her influence about me. I believe that she will be with me . she held to me with undying love in life, and I know – I know, she exists and loves me still – great, strong + glorified more able to help and comfort than ever! Yes dear – it is pitiful – it is almost unendurable, this terrible sense of dream, utterly unable to realize the great and irremediable loss, but I am bearing up better than I could have believed possible - I always believe that there is still work for me to do here – needs to be met, thank God! And so I shall not grieve as one ?? hope – but go steadfastly one, in whatsoever good ?? or work, there is for me to do – believing that therein I shall but please her. You know that all whom she loved and helped must be dear to me, and wherin [?] soever I in my lesser degree can carry on her work – there my whole heart will be given – believe that to you also she will come with strengthening and help – we wills strive to make our lives worthy of her. As soon as I can gather my thoughts together, I must consult with you about that memoir which must be written by those who loved her, lest unworthy and careless hands undertake it – I have a long letter from HH [insert Lorenz: Helen Hunt?)] on the subject – she wants to do it; and offers to give all the coming summer to the work – but I could not accept her as the right one for the task – even it I had not not had that conversation with my dear one about you. I know she never accepted Mrs Hunt fully – neither could I – with all her ability and real power – there is something which is not the ring of the true metal. The discussion of the question seems to me premature – as yet – everything is chaos about me - I cannot ever think – and this pursuing on [Lorenz insert: in?] of material things and interests revolts me. Mrs H. says “of course the book ought to come out in the autumn’ – this strikes me like ??? – and I don’t like it. To my mind whatever is written about her should be done with care & love – not gotten up to meet an excited market or a panicky demand. However, I am not equal yet to the thought of it even – I have not been at all well since my return to N.Y. I hear daily from Newport – they are well but inexpressibly sad – poor Emma seems to be oppressed with feeling almost like remorse that life can go on & carry her along with it under our sad condition. No, I do not know of any special message to you; on that sad +++ of January 7 – when she talked to her nephew & others a great deal about her possible death and made some testamentary dispositions – I was not present I never could bear the subject, and she spared me the pain – I will make inquiries & see if the others know anything – all she ever said to me, was in reference to the memoir and that was only an answer to my suggestion – she wanted me to do it – the darling always believed I could to anything I willed to do – but I was never anything but through her – she bore me up in her strong will & made me whatever I was – there was very little said – and there has been very little done – for she was always singularly indifferent about it – if she had secured [?] we were to make a business of it. Let me hear from you whenever you can – and if it is possible for you to find me some faint image and reflections of the glory that is gone – as having lived so long in such close communion with it – command me – you will always find me,
Faithfully yours
ES
[insert by Lorenz: (E. S. here seems to have more of the quality of C. C. than in earlier letters. L)]
It is very hard for me to write yet, though I struggle with all my strength to make some acknowledgments of the kindness and sympathy which meet me at every turn - so many hearts have been +++ by our great loss – so many souls yearn to her memory, and cling to all that remains of her. I must not indulge in a selfish inertia, or fall down into the dull flat of despondency, while there is duty to be done, such is not the glorious example she set us – and my life not if it is spared must be given to her will – even more than before – to hold to her spirit as I have ever done to her dear presence, and so keep her influence about me. I believe that she will be with me . she held to me with undying love in life, and I know – I know, she exists and loves me still – great, strong + glorified more able to help and comfort than ever! Yes dear – it is pitiful – it is almost unendurable, this terrible sense of dream, utterly unable to realize the great and irremediable loss, but I am bearing up better than I could have believed possible - I always believe that there is still work for me to do here – needs to be met, thank God! And so I shall not grieve as one ?? hope – but go steadfastly one, in whatsoever good ?? or work, there is for me to do – believing that therein I shall but please her. You know that all whom she loved and helped must be dear to me, and wherin [?] soever I in my lesser degree can carry on her work – there my whole heart will be given – believe that to you also she will come with strengthening and help – we wills strive to make our lives worthy of her. As soon as I can gather my thoughts together, I must consult with you about that memoir which must be written by those who loved her, lest unworthy and careless hands undertake it – I have a long letter from HH [insert Lorenz: Helen Hunt?)] on the subject – she wants to do it; and offers to give all the coming summer to the work – but I could not accept her as the right one for the task – even it I had not not had that conversation with my dear one about you. I know she never accepted Mrs Hunt fully – neither could I – with all her ability and real power – there is something which is not the ring of the true metal. The discussion of the question seems to me premature – as yet – everything is chaos about me - I cannot ever think – and this pursuing on [Lorenz insert: in?] of material things and interests revolts me. Mrs H. says “of course the book ought to come out in the autumn’ – this strikes me like ??? – and I don’t like it. To my mind whatever is written about her should be done with care & love – not gotten up to meet an excited market or a panicky demand. However, I am not equal yet to the thought of it even – I have not been at all well since my return to N.Y. I hear daily from Newport – they are well but inexpressibly sad – poor Emma seems to be oppressed with feeling almost like remorse that life can go on & carry her along with it under our sad condition. No, I do not know of any special message to you; on that sad +++ of January 7 – when she talked to her nephew & others a great deal about her possible death and made some testamentary dispositions – I was not present I never could bear the subject, and she spared me the pain – I will make inquiries & see if the others know anything – all she ever said to me, was in reference to the memoir and that was only an answer to my suggestion – she wanted me to do it – the darling always believed I could to anything I willed to do – but I was never anything but through her – she bore me up in her strong will & made me whatever I was – there was very little said – and there has been very little done – for she was always singularly indifferent about it – if she had secured [?] we were to make a business of it. Let me hear from you whenever you can – and if it is possible for you to find me some faint image and reflections of the glory that is gone – as having lived so long in such close communion with it – command me – you will always find me,
Faithfully yours
ES
[insert by Lorenz: (E. S. here seems to have more of the quality of C. C. than in earlier letters. L)]
From
Stebbins, Emma, 1815-1882
To
Lanier, Sidney, 1842-1881
Location
37 West 37th St. New York, NY, US
Geocode (Latitude)
40.750906
Geocode (Longitude)
-73.984034
Secondary Texts: Comments
William Merrill Decker argues that "epistolary construction of utopian scenes that restore the full presence of the lost or absent friend is/ one of the most pervasive and interesting motifs in pre-twentieth-century letter writing. These themes inform the many ocassions of correspondence, yet they arise with particular force in letters of condolence–those messages that address the void a death has produced in a family or among a circle of friends" (22-23).
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Geolocation
Collection
Citation
Stebbins, Emma, 1815-1882, “Letter from Emma Stebbins to Sidney Lanier, March 1, 1876,” Archival Gossip Collection, accessed March 25, 2023, https://www.archivalgossip.com/collection/items/show/157.